I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
