no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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