can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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