that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
