i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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