It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
