12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i've created a new STD.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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