We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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