I need help removing her.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
