Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
