she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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