we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
