And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
