he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
