He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize