Don't you send me to vm
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
