Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
