i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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