new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
