Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
