Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
