I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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