I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
