He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
