Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
