Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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