i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
