im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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