Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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