Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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