You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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