After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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