Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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