U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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