THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
