my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
