He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
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There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize