Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
