Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
