guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
