put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize