Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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