this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I've blown a few things in my day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
