We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
