I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
