This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize