It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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