I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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