As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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