I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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