Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
