now i know why i became what i already was.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
