In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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