I would go down on you faster than GM stock
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
