Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
