he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
