If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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