when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
