Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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