i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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