Me. At least after what I've been through.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
