im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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