fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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