wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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