I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
