he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
