Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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