She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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