idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
